So this is what it’s really like to have the urge of offing yourself. And my birthday is tomorrow…how symbolic. I can’t take this shit anymore.
I don’t really know anymore. You do things for a person, you let them completely into your world, your caring and love for them is unconditional. Shit hits the fan and you try hard to maintain whatever is left in the aftermath of the storm…and they show little to no effort in trying to keep it alive as well. So easily severed and dropped. The one person I thought would hang on no matter how bleak the situation looked….it’s just not there for her anymore. Empty words, empty promises, just a facade.
I thought for a relationship or even a friendship to really grow, acceptance of the other person was key. So why am I being punished for my darker side suddenly showing up in the heat of all that took place. I accepted everything about her - good and bad. I would have done anything for her. And now I’m left with a shell of someone who should still be my best friend.