I’ve been emotionally drained and tired. Quiet, mental breakdowns in class, Tempers flaring at the most random moments, Unable to release the pain. I can’t let it go because it’s involving someone I truly care about, and I feel like it’s not going to be resolved. I know my contemplation about suicide this time around is serious because it’s been almost 3 1/2 months. The other instances can’t even compare to how dead and numb I am internally. On the outside, smiles and laughs. Here in my room, I am tormented by what people did. Tried to stay strong this entire time. How long until I can be relieved of this agony? Betrayal doesn’t ever come from enemies. I’m near the end of my rope. No one would care. All they needed were the resources I could offer? Me? Not so much.
So this is what it’s really like to have the urge of offing yourself. And my birthday is tomorrow…how symbolic. I can’t take this shit anymore.